The twenty first post shalt be something new - Ponder my first Proverb, will thee?
For this Twenty First post i'm doing something a little different than a poem, a simple critque!
Below is a small interview type conversation I had with my sister over FaceBook. This was an inciteful critque on my poem progress so far:
Me:
i see you liked a couple of my poems, what did you think?
Trudie:
Well the money ones a classic critique and nicely constructed may I say and I thought the other one was about me. Not that you write it about me, but you know when you hear a song or read a poem and you think that could have been written for me. Well that's what I thought. Maybe I got it wrong, but I feel pretty beleaguered at the moment, and I thought that poem sounded like it was about someone beaten down by our evil empire and that's how I feel. Am I wrong. If I am I think you should still feel proud. A good poem has many meanings and should speak to it's readers.
Me:
Which other poem?
"theres no shame in what you make"?
And im really glad with that response!
Really what i want most from my poems is that people feel inspired to do something, whether its a poem, song, story or even a plan. Its quite interesting to see what others do after theyve experienced something youve writen, all the interpretations adding more inciet to the overall meaning of the poem.
A small poem i'll verse I might continue or leave as a short verse;
Version A:
A magic rainbow
"Begin the day upon a ray,
But let the rainbow, right away."
Version B
A magic rainbow
"Begin the day upon a ray,
But let the rainbow, fade away..."
Version C
A magic rainbow
"Begin the day upon a ray,
But let the rainbow, write away!" - (Leyfinder is accredited to this change of "Write".)
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